Your tears don't fall....they CRASH around me!

The strongest person I've ever known, I've ever seen, I've ever loved....

....I saw her cry today.

I haven't seen her cry in almost 10 years...but she cried today.

My idel, my hope, my everything, I saw her cry.

Strange isn't it...how you watch one person just take and take and take....they become the strongest person in your life and then one day, you realize just how much wieght they've been carrying. You think that no matter what, they can take everything that you put on them..but one day they just crack...I was there through it all, but she was holding my hand. Even when I refused to give her a hand to hold. She's always been my backbone, my support, my everything. But today...today I was the arms that hugged her, today I was the voice that soothed her, the body that was a place for her head. I never wanted to see her like this...but what could I do? We've been living with this burden for 10 years now, and just now she was cracking. If she had before, she'd never let us see it. It scared me...

...I saw my mother cry today, cry because of what she deals with everyday because of the man I call father.

...I saw my mother cry today....and I wasn't sure what to do...

Come Home Soon

She felt a stir beside her and she opened her eyes to see him getting up, reaching for his shoes. No she thought to herself, please....no. She lifted her hand and placed it on his back and he froze. He was hoping not to wake her up, it would be easier that way. No words were spoken but each knew what the other was thinking. He slowly turned and faced her, tears already filling in her eyes. He half heartedly smiled and brushed them aside. she pulled herself closer to him and hugged him tightly. He looked down at her for a moment, and then wrapped his own arms around her. Still no word was spoken. She pulled away and sat quitely as he finished getting dressed. He picked up he bag and their eyes met, both filled with confusion. Hers sometimes wishing they'd never met, and his sometimes wishing she'd never asked him to come in. A heavey sigh filled the room as the akawradly stared at each other not knowing what to say. He put down his bag and sat on the bed with her as she tried to stop herself from crying. He grabbed her hand squezzing the left one to draw attention to the ring that she had a special finger of her left hand and she nodded getting his message. He kissed her on the cheek, then stood up and left. She was alone of all a minute before she threw the covers back and ran outside chasing after him, yelling his name. He stopped outside and she threw herself into his arms in sobs. He collapsed to his knees and hugged her and kissed her telling her how much he loved her. She grabbed his arms and begged and pleaded with him not to leave but he wouldn't hear of it. He held her for another 10 minutes until her sobs had ceased and then stood to get in his car. She stayed laying helplessly in the lawn as he drove away.....

....."So deary, what happens when that ol puka of yours goes off and away eh?" She laughed. "That won't be a problem, if he wants to be with me, then he's gonna hve to keep him feet planted right here!" "O really? You think you can tame a wild heart like that?" They both looked over and saw him playing with her sisters children. "Yeah, I think I can!" "Hmm, and when you can't?" "Well then, I aim to give him his ring back, I'm not marrying no millitary man!"...........

......She didn't move on the lawn and just sat in tears and begged him to come back. Her own words echoing in her head. He wasn't coming back and they both knew it. It was what she'd always feared and now she was living it. She felt as though trying to haggle with God would help. Any other but hers, any other...but that's not fair. There was no fair trade, and even if there way, God wouldn't listen to it anyways. The time had finally come. There was no jumping in the car and driving to go see him whenever she needed him. No more second chances, no more, they were gone, it was gone, he was gone. How can one love something so much and just sit by and watch it try to give up it's own life, even if for the good of their own country. She knew he wasn't coming back. She stood up and made her way inside her house and looked around the room at all the pictures of them together. No longer a need for these....she got a box and one by one put them in. Lastly, she took off her ring and set it in the box. He wouldn't be coming home....
He wouldn't be coming home.....
....and her home needed someone who would.

Who could ask for more? I had your insides baby and now they're outside on the floor!

Romeo?

Fuck Romeo. He has no Juliet. He ran off with Rosoline before they even met!

Romeo...

Two Romeos? This tale has lost it's ryhme. But maybe if you listen it will make sense with time

So here I am

I'm Juliet, the one whose suppose to die. If that be true, with Romeo, should I even try?

But anyways

Heres my tale, of Romeos and me. Either way the story ends, I'll know it's meant to be

So first there is one Romeo, who with Rosoline doth sing

He's the one I've never met, and yet makes me take wing

Then there is my Romeo, with whom I'm picked to die

Which makes me move from Romeo, to one much more divine

Oh it is such a sadden curse, that's filled with moral woe

That Juliet is destined to, die with Romeo

I've tried to get love Romeo, away from Rosoline

But she is so entrancing with skin more fair than mine

My Romeo is weeping, because I want to leave

Either way his tears will fall in death or moral grieve

So, I'll be death's Juliet, because I am loves foe

And again we'll be tragedy...

Juliet and Romeo

Cold as you....

Everything to you is just a word. Everyone in the world has only ever done you wrong. Everything wrong you've done doesn't matter because you had wrong done to you. Therefore, yes, you have no sympathy, and everything is just a word to you. You asked me something, one day, laying on my couch. I said yes.....I meant it...but now I'm not sure. They may have just been words to you, but they were everything to me....everything. You might not care, or have any sympathy for me, but you have to accept the follow up your your actions, but you can't even let mine go. Mine actions which you pushed me to do. So go ahead and take back your words....because I take back my yes....

it just takes some time, little girl, you're in the middle of the ride

Everything will alright.....everything will be alright....

alright...

I had a dream....why I had this dream I don't know, but I did.....I can't erase it from my mind, it's there.

I was in that dress, you know, the purple one, the purple one that I wouldn't let you see because you weren't allowed yet, but you'll never see it now.

But I was in it. Walking, walking down memory lane, slowly walking.

Step, pause

step, step,

pause, smile, step.

In my dream though, you were going to see it

step

I got closer

pause, step

and closer

step, pause....pause....pause..

but I couldn't take another step.

I looked up and it wasn't you anymore. It wasn't you that was looking at me in my purple dress. No one was suppose to see me in that dress but you......no one but you. But you weren't there...so it's ok right?

It's ok that this other man saw me in my purple dress right?

You weren't there...it's your fault...your fault..

step, your fault

pause, step, your fault...

your fault...

step

I faced him, this man that wasn't you, this man that was seeing me in my purple dress, that was for you, but now for him. He grabbed my hands and he smiled.

The ground beneath my feet fell as he tried to speak to me.

I fell...and I ened up at your house, roaming the halls in my purple dress. I saw us laying on your floor as you slept and I read that note you'd written me.

I watched and we spent our last day together...although I can't remember it that well..but I watched.

I watched helplessly as we parted for the last time, both thinking that we'd see each other again.

I watched, in my purple dress. You walked back into your house and walked right through me. You couldn't see me...not in my dress

You're not meant to...

I watched myself drive away and I closed my eyes.

Open again, I was back where I had fallen, back walking towards this man who was seeing me in my purple dress

step, pause, step

your fault...

step, pause

step

again...

The man that wasn't you took my hands and smiled as he said those two words that you and I had joked about saying...in my purple dress. My purple dress that you'll never see.

He said those two words, and with all of my tears pouring onto my purple dress, with forgetting what we could have been....

....I said them back....